Mending Broken Bridges

Last night turned into a night for mending broken bridges. I am so glad it did.
I am one of those individuals who cannot stand people not liking me, I hate grudges. If I don't know or never knew you I don't care but if at any point in my life you meant something to me, I need to feel like I meant enough to you, for us to be civil. I have realized recently that I do not always give credit to those who deserve it, and I give too much credit to those who do not, and lie to me. I feel that I have greatly let some individuals down because of this, and most of all - I have let myself down. Every relationship starts with trust, why can't they end with it too?


Unfortunately, it has become quite obvious to me that you will never completely be able to get over anyone you actually liked, and your relationships will be forever different, theres always the past and you can't do away with it. Unfortunately you also can't change it, or rewind and start over. I wish I could have really seen this through someone else's eyes before, it would have saved us both a lot of hurt. However, at some point we all find it hard to look at the other person's side of a matter. Both people need to be willing to do this, one can't accomplish anything, together you can accomplish everything.


I have always concluded that people do not change, however, I am beginning to reconsider, people do change, but it doesn't happen over night, it is a slow and gradual process, and unfortunately it usually isn't fast enough to be worth hanging in there the whole time.


I also think, I have changed a lot, for starts I have had some wonderful friendships I feel comfortable talking to those people, however none of us are perfect, they have lied to me, kept their share of secrets, and screwed me over at times. A relationship starts with friendship, it will never end in just friendship, but it might be worth it to deal with it rather than ignoring the problem.


If you were hoping this would explain my current mindset better, sorry you're out of luck. I haven't shared much of that with anyone.


I love my friends, and I do greatly appreciate everything you all do. I don't always agree and we all have our moments where we blow things out of proportion and create worse problems than the original one at hand. Talking things out helps, even if you think it is too late. If you ever were friends, it is never too late. We all love to be stubborn, but sometimes it is necessary to try to see someone else's side. Which, needs to be done by both people not just one.


...THANK YOU.