I found what I wasn't looking for.

More often or not when people ask me what I do on the weekends, or who I hang out with usually I reply by telling them that I am anti-social. Truly I do not even believe this to be the case. I am not socially awkward, but I don't care to try to make new friends.
  

I know who my friends are, if I need something I can go to them or if I need a friend they are there for me. I don't mean it in the "I can call him at three in the morning," sense too, although thats important, I truly feel my truest friends are the ones I can go to when I need a place to crash, when I need to borrow money, when I need something to do, and when I need to get something off my chest. I also know for a fact that if they are able to give me what I am asking from them, they will.


Friendship isn't one sided, I will do almost anything for my friends as well. I don't feel the need to make new friends, or try to at least. Friends seem to come into your life from no place. If you try to make a friend, it is usually forced and the friendship doesn't seem to be worth holding on to anyhow. The same goes for relationships.


People are not perfect. We are all human, we all make mistakes and we all do really stupid stuff. More importantly we all do things we wish we could change. In the long run, we hope they don't destroy everything in our lives that make us happy. Today many people go through life looking at people and things based only on what they have heard from other people.


We have all had rumors spread about us, and more than likely we are all guilty of spreading a few ourselves even if we aren't proud of doing so. In the long run we need to make our own decisions on people. We need to form our own opinions based on who the person is, and how they treat us, and maybe those who are close to us. We cannot all go through life listening to only the rumors and never get to know anyone, we would all be hermits because no one is loved by everyone. We all make mistakes, why don't we all give one another that benefit of the doubt and treat them how they treat us.


I have been really thinking about all of this for quite some time, it is easier said than meant and in a few situations I refused to say it until I absolutely meant it. I will be there for my friends no matter what happens. I will not judge people based on stories I hear from other people, and I will do my best to understand both sides of things. I will not judge people on solely the labels that have been placed upon them.


I will do my best to keep these words, I really truly do believe in each and every bit of it. Even if some days it is easier to take the easy way out. I know people can use me and my loyalisms, I realize people can take advantage of my forgiveness; but at the end of the day, I truly believe everyone should adopt their own beliefs that are somewhat similar. This makes me a better person. It also makes me content and happy with myself. Other people may think I am crazy, why should I be giving so many people the opportunity to prove themselves, but the better question is why wont they?

Experiences.

I should be writing a paper that is due in a few hours, but I have a lot on my mind, and reading about Native American religion isn't one of the things. Yesterday (or the day before..) I posted about "summer vacations" and how the experiences I had growing up seem to be nothing like peers of mine here at college. Today, I had a moment I had to laugh at.


"Imagine when you were in high school, you're standing in the middle of the hall, on one side of you is the "preps" and the other side is the dark gothic kids. Imagine how school uniforms would fix this problem."
Okay for starts, I suppose you can say I hung out with the "gothic kids with their band tees" and I still talked to the "preps" because I had classes with them, maybe it is a result of a small school and knowing everyone, I talked to almost anyone in high school unless I had a reason why I didn't like them, some of those reasons were stupid sure, but I don't know that uniforms are this quick fix, lets think of personalities. I am a kept to myself person about my life, and I tend to have a flat expression. The "goth kids" tend to be quiet and kept to themselves, and "preps" tend to be omg soo happy like O m G!


School uniforms aren't a terrible idea, I would have hated them in school, I caught enough hell on days I dyed my hair green or pink. However, the "cliques" will always exist because friendships are more often formed on personality than clothes. First impressions are based on looks, but I have met plenty of attractive guys and pretty girls I could not stand. And I have met some who are really ugly and made wonderful friends.