Sometimes you need something to look forward to

Sometimes we are all in a rough spot, we all countdown to something whether it be the end of the semester, the day you should be done with something, or even the day somethings due so it is out of your way. Countdowns help us manage our lives in smaller portions instead of looking at things as a whole picture, breaking it into pieces is sometimes easier. But in the grand scheme of things a year is pretty irrelevant. If you live to be 80, how important is a month in the big picture? We count down to make things more manageable, more easy to work through one day at a time, because when we don't know the outcome of something we do just that we take it one day at a time.

Life is complicated, parts of it are a mess, and we can't avoid it no matter how hard we try, we fall in love, we get our hearts break, we grow apart in all hopes to find people who we can depend on "forever." I am lucky to have a few people in my life who have known me for 7 or 8 years who mean the world to me, who keep me going when everyone else fails me. I also have my family who means the world to me and can usually help me through anything, I can talk to my parents about just about anything, and if necessary I can make it sound like it isn't about me.

A part of being a friend is being there when the other person needs you, at this point in my life, if you only want to be there when we are having a good time, I don't care to be friends to start, I can have fun with plenty of people. I also am getting to the point if you can't be there when I need you, I don't care to have you in my life. I know for a fact I am there for my friends when they need me, I try my hardest to be a good friend, sometimes I have so much going on in my own life I don't do an excellent job, but I sure try. I don't make judgments towards things I do not understand, and if you call me crying, I will listen, even if I told you it was stupid before you did it. As a friend I would expect you to return the favor, or next time you call crying I may not be as helpful. I am very proud of my friends, I would go to the end of the earth and back for any one of them.

Sometimes, the one thing you are looking forward to is all that is keeping you going at the end of the day. As I said I would go to the end of the earth for any one of my true friends. Right now I know for a fact I am the only thing keeping someone very important to me going and it is frustrating, empowering, and it makes me feel amazing. I am so frustrated because I have no idea how to help, and no one else seems to be doing it, even though they are indeed trying. I wish I had some help being motivating and encouraging, because I have a lot of other things happening in my life as well. At the same time having the ability to make or break someone is empowering, sometimes to the point it isn't good. I don't want to control this relationship, but I already do, at this point he certainly needs me more than I need him, and in a way that makes me feel pretty special. I am glad I am the one he wants and the one who can help him through this dark spot in his life. In another way, it scares me to death.

Friendship

A friendship is for laughter and fun, but a true friend is still there long after the laughter becomes tears and the situation is no longer enjoyable.

Writing, and what becomes of it

It feels so strange to not be able to talk to you, I don't like it, but I will live.

It took a while for us to be friends,

It took months for you to break my heart,

It took years for us to grow apart,

A few weeks to reconnect,

It took only one night for us to fall in love. 

God has a plan for us all, some bad things need to happen to make us better people; we just need to embrace every day we are given and make the best of it.

And when I lay down at night, I wish it were you I was cuddling with, this monkey just doesn't cut it. 

Someday's it is hard to remember I am not alone in this world - then I get a simple message from you.

Our relationship came out of no where, but rest assured it also isn't going anywhere. 

Baby I am still here

Baby, I know your scared,
Baby, I am afraid too,
Just remember that I love you,
I have always cared.

I am not going anywhere dear,
Hang in there for me baby,
Keep your head high sweetie,
I will not leave you over this.

I know this is hard,
This isn't how it was suppose to go,
You will get through this.
You are strong, and amazing.

I will help you get through this sweetie.
We will get through this together,
And at the end of the day,
Always remember I love you.

Don't give up on me,
And don't lose faith in yourself,
I know who you are,
And that is why I love you.

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~
This poem is now in image form...

A series of short posts I never finished.

What is the difference between someone you know and a friend? What makes someone a friend? What makes someone a good friend? At what point is someone more than a friend. We all have our opinions on these questions and honestly I think everyone has totally different ideas.

My best friends are the people I can call crying at 3am. Yeah, sure we have all heard that expression, but who really would wake up or stay up talking to you after you break up with your girlfriend? Who would take your side and support you no matter if all the evidence was stacked against you? Who would give up a friendship for you; a relationship? I have went insane amounts of time without talking to some Of my best friends, and although they were offended when I went to them crying that the guy who talked me into not talking to them dumped me they still listened to me and made me feel better. One friend even asked whose ass he was kicking.

We all mess up, we all make mistakes, and we all need friends. I have some of the greatest friends in the world who can be anywhere in the world and I still know they care.

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They dated in high school, they never really got along, but they remained friends if you could call it that. When he graduated they kept in touch and when she did the following year they went their separate ways and stayed loosely in touch. She went off to college, he was working two jobs.

They had very little in common except a friendship that barely existed, they trusted each other with information and therefore felt comfortable talking but that was about it. She wasn't comfortable hanging out with him alone because he was pushy and controlling before.

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She walked into the room. She was wearing a brown sundress, and a pair of flats. He stared at her with wide eyes, his lips forming a perfect smile as soon as he caught sight of her. She walked in his direction. He stood there still starry eyed and unable to move until she was a few steps away, he stepped forward and took her into his arms.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him on the cheek; "Did you miss me?"
"Of course," he whispered in her ear, blowing in it as he did so. She giggled and rubbed her head on his shoulder.

In that moment, nothing else mattered. All the problems they had seemed to be in another world, the only thing that mattered was right in front of them, and they embraced one another. They then talked for hours and laughed and cuddled until it was too cold to remain in their spot where they liked to hang out. In the dark under the stars nothing mattered, they could talk about anything in the world without fear of anything.

They left holding hands and smiling, as they stepped back outside, all the problems of the "real world" seemed to dawn upon them. They had barriers they needed to cross, they each had their own pasts, and they each had their own dreams. However, they looked at one another, reached and grabbed one another's hands. It was going to take more than that to ruin this thing they seemed to have found called love.

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I love listening to people complain how they haven't talked to their boyfriend all day, who cares? I love hearing people go on and on about how mad they are at someone, for something stupid. Who cares?
I guess the thing is that I have hit a point in my life, one in which I do not care to worry so much about those things in which I cannot change. I do not care to get mad at people for really dumb stuff. Or at least I try.
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I found what I wasn't looking for.

More often or not when people ask me what I do on the weekends, or who I hang out with usually I reply by telling them that I am anti-social. Truly I do not even believe this to be the case. I am not socially awkward, but I don't care to try to make new friends.
  

I know who my friends are, if I need something I can go to them or if I need a friend they are there for me. I don't mean it in the "I can call him at three in the morning," sense too, although thats important, I truly feel my truest friends are the ones I can go to when I need a place to crash, when I need to borrow money, when I need something to do, and when I need to get something off my chest. I also know for a fact that if they are able to give me what I am asking from them, they will.


Friendship isn't one sided, I will do almost anything for my friends as well. I don't feel the need to make new friends, or try to at least. Friends seem to come into your life from no place. If you try to make a friend, it is usually forced and the friendship doesn't seem to be worth holding on to anyhow. The same goes for relationships.


People are not perfect. We are all human, we all make mistakes and we all do really stupid stuff. More importantly we all do things we wish we could change. In the long run, we hope they don't destroy everything in our lives that make us happy. Today many people go through life looking at people and things based only on what they have heard from other people.


We have all had rumors spread about us, and more than likely we are all guilty of spreading a few ourselves even if we aren't proud of doing so. In the long run we need to make our own decisions on people. We need to form our own opinions based on who the person is, and how they treat us, and maybe those who are close to us. We cannot all go through life listening to only the rumors and never get to know anyone, we would all be hermits because no one is loved by everyone. We all make mistakes, why don't we all give one another that benefit of the doubt and treat them how they treat us.


I have been really thinking about all of this for quite some time, it is easier said than meant and in a few situations I refused to say it until I absolutely meant it. I will be there for my friends no matter what happens. I will not judge people based on stories I hear from other people, and I will do my best to understand both sides of things. I will not judge people on solely the labels that have been placed upon them.


I will do my best to keep these words, I really truly do believe in each and every bit of it. Even if some days it is easier to take the easy way out. I know people can use me and my loyalisms, I realize people can take advantage of my forgiveness; but at the end of the day, I truly believe everyone should adopt their own beliefs that are somewhat similar. This makes me a better person. It also makes me content and happy with myself. Other people may think I am crazy, why should I be giving so many people the opportunity to prove themselves, but the better question is why wont they?

Peace, Quiet and Friendship

Sometimes we all need someone to talk to, most of the time we chose specific people for specific things, after all no one can be trusted with everything, but everyone can be trusted with something right? A relationship never seems to be so complete, and yet so changing when you are sitting together under the stars talking. Words are pure, lies do not exist and appearances don't matter, unless you end up grabbing or touching something you're not suppose to. At that point life seems so perfect, and yet the world can be spinning around you, your mind can be filled with troublesome thoughts and it all can come out with no worries at all. The truth will set you free, even if it doesn't it sure makes you feel a bit better to know someone understands. The only limits are the stars, which are perfect and yet always changing and chaos is beautiful. 

Collage on Friendship

 

I found most quotes on friendship to be lies, things about never hurting your friend, or never making them cry. I have made my friends cry, over situations or over the fact they need to realize that something that they are doing is hurting them or someone else. Sometimes you need to be the one who makes them realize something they don't care to admit. That makes you a friend. Good friends do indeed sometimes make you cry, but nothing will break you apart.