This is old, some of you may have read it, it is something personal, that I have written and those are usually my best.
The Truth of Acceptance
I had a new best friend, although we really didn't know everything about each other like we lead everyone to believe. We entrusted each other with our deepest darkest secrets from drama to problems with people around us. We were inseparable. If we were at home, we were on the phone. If we were out we were together if it was at all possible. As our friendship grew, we told each other more and more, we came to a point one did not even have to speak and the other understood. We could talk about things as stupid as what to wear to school and what the latest rumor was that as going along.
One day he told me he had something to tell me. Later that day he told me he was gay. I told him he wasn't and he was just trying to trick me. I argued with him for about two days, refusing to believe him. I was kinda homophobic at the time, and to be honest, he knew this. He entrusted me with this deep hidden secret of his regardlessly, thinking I would accept the fact right away. It was in fact a huge risk for him and me being his best friend he figured I would understand. Needless to say I didn't. He was upset about this, but so was I though I wouldn't admit that to him. For days after, he would try to talk to me, I would simply look away. He would call I'd hang up or just not answer. He would try at least once every night.
I regretfully had started a couple of rumors, everyone had always spread rumors of how we were going out and when he told me he was gay I was mad at him. I didn't want to have a gay friend. I didn't want to talk to someone who was gay. So, someone made a comment about how maybe “me and my boyfriend” were fighting. I immediately defended myself by telling the person he was in fact gay. Well, this person was not a big fan of my friend. So, to try to make him mad he spread rumors that he liked a few of the popular guys. It worked, he was upset about it all. He wrote me notes saying so even. I refused to reply back to them.
After days had passed, it occurred to me, no matter what happened he was there for me. I didn't understand in my mind how to apologize, but I knew I had to, for his sake as well as mine. He meant a lot to me and he was the first true best friend I had ever had. So the next morning during homeroom I wrote him a note, after wadding up more than six papers I had it how I wanted – it had to be perfect. It couldn't sound like I was begging for his friendship or if he didn't want my friendship anymore it would look bad. I had to somehow explain that I was sorry, that I felt bad, and how hopefully he could forgive me because he meant a lot to me and was one of my best friends. I also added in that I realized I could never take it back or undo it, but I would always regret it. No matter what I hoped we could still be friends. I always had an easier time writing than telling someone something to their face; but this time even that seemed impossible.
I found someone to give this -newly perfected to the best of my ability- note to him and I was handed one back about ten minutes later sent with the same messenger, a person who we were both friends with at the time. This person told me he said thank you, before handing me the note which I read and couldn't stop smiling afterwards. He explained no matter what I was still his friend. If I wasn't he'd be greatly upset.
Growing up, I was always told to accept people even if they were different than myself. Along with acceptance, I was always told that some things although I did not necessarily agree with I had to grow to deal with. I managed to deal with those I didn't like. I seen few people as being much different than myself for quite some time. People were in fact different, but not enough it bothered me. I have in fact grown apart from this amazing friend of mine, years, distance, and disagreements have brought us apart. Yet I learned, loved, and grew with him - for him. I've learned everyone is different. Nothing sets people so far apart so far that they can't stand each other – or let's rephrase that - it shouldn't. To realize everyone is different and to accept that are two totally different things. There is also a difference in saying you accept people for exactly who they are and actually doing it. You cannot truly accept anything unless you personally see a reason to.
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