Letters that will never be read, or even sent

If I sent you here to see my pictures scroll down and hit "older posts," I post almost every day now and I want to keep posting.

I think at some point we all have probably had something we wanted to tell someone so bad that we felt like we had to. Sometimes what I would like to say would end up hurting those I love. I don't want to hurt my friends, and I don't want to control the choices they make. 
I hate some of the actions my friends take when it comes to relationships, nothing tops that. I also know some of my friends bit their lips when I screwed up, and more importantly and recently when I blew one of my best friends off for a guy, hes done the same, but not like I did. I was never so thankful for that friend I blew off when I called him crying after my boyfriend and I broke up after not talking to him in about a month or better and I wasn't even suppose to talk to him before that. 
The moral of that is essentially the quote "Some people walk in and out of your lives but your true friends leave footprints in your heart." I hate things my best friends have done, and yet for some odd reason even when these things hurt me and they have put me in tears on multiple occasions, I still can't hold it against them. They are perfect to me, even if thats a bit messed up. 
Back to the letter, I wanted to type an email to someone, but I felt like they probably shouldn't read it, at least not yet.   They probably never will, but while I was writing it I felt better. I rant to people a lot, I always have, but I haven't found anyone I could tell what I wrote (or rather typed) in that letter (aka notepad on itouch). 
Sometimes I think we all need to do something to express whats on our minds, some people draw or paint, I am essentially retarded when it comes to both of those so I write. And I write a lot, the letter that resulted last night has been something I am not willing to share with anyone, and it has been weighing on me for about a month now, I needed it to become something, so it didn't seem like it was so, secret anymore. I'm terrible with secrets, I always end up too willing to tell them, even if they are good.