Facebook.

Complaints

Photos

• No, you are not in that picture, I don't care that it says family and you think you should be tagged, for starts I do not see you, for seconds you are only blood related, you don't matter. 
• I do not want to look down your shirt.
• Is there a reason your boobs are the focal point of every picture you post? 
• Zip and pull up your pants. Really. 

Love

• We all love our boyfriends or girlfriends or we wouldn't be dating them. If you post it in every post it is over kill, just say it sometimes.
• You do not have the "best boyfriend in the world" no, he may be the best for you, he would be terrible for someone else. 
• There should be a rule that you cannot change your status more than once a week, if you are together less than a week why did you bother to start?
• If you change your status on facebook it is probably going to tick off your significant other. 
• If you don't want the world to know, do not post it.

Jobs

• You do not work for playboy.
• You are not a stripper.
• You are not a prostitute. 
• If you were you wouldn't be posting it on facebook. 
• You should not have to be told if you currently work at Walmart not to post images saying "lets burn down Walmart."

I am sure I will think of more. I might update this later.

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Control

This subjects been brought up a lot recently, how do you find yourself in an abusive relationship? Why is it so easy to stay, and why is it so easy to go back? It is easy to say you will never find yourself in that type of relationship; the truth of the matter is most of us will find ourselves in that situation at some point or another. Control seems to be ignored in relationships, or you always hear how 'there is no control in my relationship,' there is; you just may not choose to act upon it. In every relationship at some point or another someone is dominant over the other, someone holds the ability to move on, you both do, but one person is more likely to for whatever reasons. Think about it, who 'wears the pants' in your relationship?

The fact of the matter is it is really easy to end up in the whirlpool where you are being controlled through whatever means possible. I think we all understand the physical abuse issue. Few people take the time to understand the emotional abuse situations. It doesn't start out that way.

You are dating for a little while, he (or she) makes it very obvious they don't like one of your friends and is constantly complaining about them. Because you are sick of hearing it and you want them to be happy stop talking to this friend. After a while this happens with more and more friends of yours. Eventually you start to realize most of the people you depended on no longer are the people you talk to. The ones you still talk to are mutual friends or friends of yours that you introduced him to and also talk to him when you aren't around. You realize you really have no one you talk to but him and these mutual friends. When he starts complaining to you because one of those people who he doesn't like texted you, and starts yelling at you about how you broke his trust and how he doesn't know if you are worth his time, you break down in tears and yet you have no one you can talk to without getting in trouble. You spend every minute with him or alone. You talk to only those he approves of, some of which he later "checks in with" to make sure you didn't mention anyone you weren't suppose to. But you haven't talked to any of your friends in six months, what happens if you break up? Where will you go? Who will actually talk to you when you leave? Will those mutual friends speak to you again? Who do you call crying when he tells you that your not worth his time? Those friends you have blown off?

It is a lot easier than you would think to end up in that situation. I do not care how "strong" you are, if it happens it is really hard to break that cycle, as soon as you realize it is happening it is already too late. Well I have to tell you, your true friends will still be there for you when you come out. You will lose friends over it, you will find out who really is important and odds are those were the first few people you stopped talking to.


Do me a favor, when you realize this is happening to a friend. Do not push, no matter what you say it isn't going to help you have to let it happen and hope they come out of the relationship sooner instead of later. But BE THERE for them when they do. It is really hard to realize you really have no one because of that relationship. Rely on those friends who will take the time to listen to you (even if they are upset with you), the fact of the matter is it isn't just wimpy people who end up in these situations, they are just really hard to get out of even with a strong will.

Those in which we try to help

I have always been the type to try to help people. Sometimes I feel like I search for those who are lost causes. On more than one occasion I have been informed I try to fix people. An individual even told me once that I only date guys who need fixed and once they are fixed, I give up and move on, because I enjoy the challenge. I am not sure this is the case. I believe in some ways or forms we all need fixed, whether we have trust issues, or things in our lives that are uncontrollable.
At some point we all find someone who we wish to help, sometimes we learn that the 'problems' are more contrived in their minds than something we can really help them with. Other times; we realize these problems are unsurmountable.
One person, one support, and one smile really can make a world of difference in someone's life. It is an amazing feeling to know that you have someone who will love and support you through the thick and the thin. It sounds like a trite saying that one person can make a difference. At some point we all need someone to help us through the ugly, support us through the bad and to celebrate the good. You may never know how much of a difference you made in someone's life; but maybe you will. Help anyone you can, and be the friend you want to have.
Other times, the help you are trying to give, is a serious waste of your time. You cannot help those who do not wish to help themselves. You cannot change the past, you can not un-write today; life doesn't have an eraser. Sometimes we think we are doing someone a favor by helping them out, but they don't want to be helped. We are not doing anything at this point. In order to get out of a bad situation in life, or even a bad state of mind, you have to want to do it for yourself, you can have the whole cheer leading squad screaming at the top of their lungs to root you on, it doesn't do you any good if you don't want to change. Saying you want to, isn't enough either you have to really want it, and sometimes you have to get hurt, or things have to get harder before they get easier; that is life.

How did we get here..?

I asked my parents if I could go out, I did not say where I said I was going to see someone, and I did not know who. I knew who, and somehow I felt you were the only one who wouldn't yell at me or judge me for what I was about to tell you, I had been talking to you a little bit lately, and I knew I could trust you, because I figured you had enough demons in your past you had no right to judge me, and if you did, I had stuff on you as well.
Over six months later I look back at this and laugh. This was the first night in the last four years we actually hung out without being mean to one another just to prove a point.
I never called you, I never said I was coming over, I knew you would get home sometime after eight, we had been talking at about 8:30 or nine o'clock for the last few weeks. So, when I left my house that night I headed to your house, except I hadn't ever driven there and I had only been there once in the entire time I had known you. I ended up trying to figure out what road you lived on, and I called your house after a few frustrated attempts. Your mom gave me directions, and eventually asked who was calling, I told her and she acted like I was her long lost friend.

Needless to say the last time I was at your house was just before my 16th birthday, I received my first kiss in your bedroom while my dad was talking to your dad and we escaped for you to show me something you had in your room, I really at the time did not care. We kissed, it was perfect, yet so so awkward. We were there because my dad was buying a gun off of you, and you and I had been together for some time. You pushed a bit further than I was comfortable with, and eventually like every time we dated in our high school years we did not last all that long, however I think that was the longest we ever did last, and you waited a while for that night. (P.S. You are a much better kisser now than you were then.)
When I knocked on your door, I was nervous I have no idea why exactly. Your mom told me to come in and she gave me a hug and started talking like I was just there last week. Needless to say, I did not totally remember your mom, an d I ad no idea what I wanted from you. I just needed to talk, to anyone, and I knew you would listen. We talked until you got home, your reaction when you came through the door was the same reaction I have gotten every single time you have seen me since, somehow your face lights up. Initially you were complaining whose truck was in the driveway, but you got over that quick. You gave me a huge hug, I really did not want one. I asked you to keep your hands to yourself.

I don't know why I felt I could trust you, other than I was pretty sure you would keep any secrets I disclosed. Little did I know when I showed up that night, you needed me as much as I needed you.
You went and took a shower, and I waited for you, when you came out, you asked where we were going. I had not at all thought that far ahead. I wanted to be alone with you so we could talk without anyone overhearing us, and yet I did not trust you, nor myself, to be alone. You asked about going to the casino, and that is where we went. We talked a bit, we played some slots, and eventually we left, it was rather early yet, and I asked you if we could go sit and talk. On the way, I reached over and touched your leg when you were saying something, mostly because I felt like you needed some reassurance that you were safe with me, you jumped half way through the ceiling of the truck. We found a place to park, with total silence from everyone around us.We did just that- we talked.

I was not expecting that to turn into anything more. However; you kept trying to comfort me, and when you started talking and opening up, I started doing the same.
Somehow I ended up sitting in your lap with your arms wrapped around me staring up at the stars and talking about everything that came to mind. Eventually we got cold and got back in the truck and left. I took you home, and after that I stayed for a bit, still just talking about life. That is all we did was talk, about anything and everything nothing was off limits, even if it was negative, or it was going to scare the other one away, it was out on the table and we promised not to judge one another that night. After that I made every attempt possible to come over, and I did so, every other night, sometimes every night. We ended up getting closer and closer.

Makes me wanna take the back road home...

(and yes my friends, that is a turtle.)

Things people say we have

Luck
I hear all the time how "lucky" I am. I don't think I am lucky at all. I have often heard how lucky he and I are. We are not lucky. If we were we wouldn't be in the situations we are in now. We carry on. We get through each day because we are determined to and because we get the faith we need from one another.
Perfection
Perfection is a myth. There is a point where you take the good and the bad and you stop worrying about who is going to stand behind you in the tough spots. Things get hard. Things are far from perfect. As good as it can be is perfection. When you have nothing in your control you want to change, that is perfection.
Strength
Everyone feels the need to say how strong we are. We aren't any stronger than anyone else. We feed off one another and some days it is totally one sided. Some days I need the reassurance and some days he needs it from me. On a rare occasion we both need it.
Communication
This is where we have it made. We talk. We talk about everything. We don't hold much back. This is the key to our relationship. It has not always been easy. For a few months we struggled to talk for like two minutes a day and wrote our hearts out in letters. However; we made it! We will continue to make it through whatever life throws in our faces. I am often told by friends how they don't know how I do it. Well, there is my secret communication, communication communication. Talk. Talk about everything. Be open to new ideas. Listen when you don't want to hear about it. Don't be judgmental. Don't say a word when they are ranting their heart out, shut up and listen. Be reassuring. Give support when needed. Hold your opinions back when you need to. If your others in tears, smile and help them through it, your opinion can come in later.