Summer

Summer breaks finally here I have been home a week only unpacked my clothes haven't had the chance to get to much else. Where I call "home" has changed so much the fields are dotted with gas wells, the woods are being gutted for new homes and houses and the roads are falling apart because hundreds of trucks are running up and down them everyday.

I sat outside with the dogs earlier watching a machine pick trees up out of a hedgerow and smash them like a piece of garbage a field we have used for hay before. Farmers in the area are saying as soon as they start getting royalties they are not going to farm anymore, and milk prices at the store are high now? Until recently this area has been very homogeneous which seems like a culture shock. I went to school k-12th grade with six blacks and three Hispanics. We all laughed when Lows came into the area that they had everything in Spanish as well as English. Now, with an influx of Mexican workers coming in no one speaks Spanish in the area. I am truly curious how the schools are coping with the situation.

Where is the sun?

I do need to acknowledge it was warm out today and yesterday for the matter, however today was the last day of classes for the year, whoot, and way to go our "different way of thinking" the schedules just kinda dumb but whatever. However, for the year we are working on about 5 days where it has been over 70, can it really be summer break and 41 degrees at home? It is indeed a bit warmer here, but 41 at home? I don't want winter break number two, I want sunshine and summer!

Friends and Change

Lately I have been slightly confused by friends of mine, but I also have taken some time to think about how wonderful of friends some people are.  I feel as though friendships like most relationships are sometimes meant to crumble to fall apart and be done and over with, we all change slightly over time, we aren't who we are when we were 13, so how is it some friendships can last throughout eternity? This has been something I have been flip flopping in my brain, 

Everyone has different opinions on different things, one thing can ruin a relationship, of a romantic or friendship sort. I have experienced just this lately. Over the last few years I seem to have changed who I am a lot more than most people who are around me, my interests have changed, what makes me happy has changed and what infuriates me has changed.  If you talk to me at all, you might know that politics and the world news is huge to me, a few years ago I wouldn't have cared. However, as circumstances in our lives change we change with them, we grow from our experiences. 

An amazing friend last night told me that he didn't see it, but everyone had told him he had changed. Changes happen without us knowing, but if we could look though someone else's eyes we would see the amount of things we have changed in ourselves.  For example the military related news is huge to me, because it affects me. Education changes are huge because they affect me. Unfortunately I don't know that we have the ability to change our mindsets on anything until it is personal. 

 Some friendships cannot survive these minor everyday changes, sometimes the changes two people make send them in opposite directions. However, you don't need to be like someone to be their friend, you just need to be compatible. Sometimes, you polar opposite is the person who is your best friend and thats exactly who my best friend is to me. There are things in our experiences that could have totally destroyed our relationship with one another, starting with bad choices and ranging to just distance and losing touch sometimes. But your polar opposite can make a great friend when they cause you to loosen up and relax, and you cause them to take stuff seriously. 

Are some relationships invincible? I think so, I know of plenty of things my best friend has done wrong; that I don't approve of, and that hurt me, yet he is forever there for me. Even if its on the other side of the world, and he is a day ahead of me sleeping away tomorrow while I am trying to get through today, he still makes a point to be a friend, and a dang good one at that; one I can talk to and be crying and have the biggest smile on my face when we have to part. 

Soon we will meet again, for now, forever in one another's hearts. 

Mending Broken Bridges

Last night turned into a night for mending broken bridges. I am so glad it did.
I am one of those individuals who cannot stand people not liking me, I hate grudges. If I don't know or never knew you I don't care but if at any point in my life you meant something to me, I need to feel like I meant enough to you, for us to be civil. I have realized recently that I do not always give credit to those who deserve it, and I give too much credit to those who do not, and lie to me. I feel that I have greatly let some individuals down because of this, and most of all - I have let myself down. Every relationship starts with trust, why can't they end with it too?


Unfortunately, it has become quite obvious to me that you will never completely be able to get over anyone you actually liked, and your relationships will be forever different, theres always the past and you can't do away with it. Unfortunately you also can't change it, or rewind and start over. I wish I could have really seen this through someone else's eyes before, it would have saved us both a lot of hurt. However, at some point we all find it hard to look at the other person's side of a matter. Both people need to be willing to do this, one can't accomplish anything, together you can accomplish everything.


I have always concluded that people do not change, however, I am beginning to reconsider, people do change, but it doesn't happen over night, it is a slow and gradual process, and unfortunately it usually isn't fast enough to be worth hanging in there the whole time.


I also think, I have changed a lot, for starts I have had some wonderful friendships I feel comfortable talking to those people, however none of us are perfect, they have lied to me, kept their share of secrets, and screwed me over at times. A relationship starts with friendship, it will never end in just friendship, but it might be worth it to deal with it rather than ignoring the problem.


If you were hoping this would explain my current mindset better, sorry you're out of luck. I haven't shared much of that with anyone.


I love my friends, and I do greatly appreciate everything you all do. I don't always agree and we all have our moments where we blow things out of proportion and create worse problems than the original one at hand. Talking things out helps, even if you think it is too late. If you ever were friends, it is never too late. We all love to be stubborn, but sometimes it is necessary to try to see someone else's side. Which, needs to be done by both people not just one.


...THANK YOU.