My 100th post!

Will not be in a grim mood! Amazingly!

We often underestimate the force we have upon other people. We often underestimate the forces they have on us. We may not be in a bad mood because of them, they may have nothing to do with it, but to see a friend in a bad mood puts us in a less than perfect mood, to see them in a good mood and have a good outlook and attitude towards life, improves our mood as well. We all reach points in our lives where we realize we need to change something in order to be happy, to find what we have been looking for; sometimes we aren't even sure what that is we were looking for.

Doubts
Lately, I have had a lot of them. When ever we seem to be making progress with one thing four more things step in to push us back. Some days it is just like why bother, this is more work than it is worth. We make it through though, we pull through and we end up on the other side of the tunnel with a smile on our faces because we were able to overcome it. We made it. Life is full of challenges and hurdles; some days I feel like they are all being thrown at me! One step forward, and four steps back; isn't that the story of my life, our lives, and most certainly our relationship?
I do not want perfection, I do not want everything to go the way I want it too, life would be pretty boring if it did, I just want a break once and a while and not feel like once again that we take one step forward to get pushed back four steps. I feel like we are getting no where, yet after we make it through one thing, I wonder why I ever questioned it before. We talked about this last night.

We will make it, we always do, we are stronger for it, and at the end of the worst of days, I know you are there for me, and I am pretty sure you know that goes both ways. We've got this!

Meanwhile; SMILE it really does get better than the worst days, and even when you feel like you are making no progress on anything realize you do not need to be miserable. Smile at the stupid things, smile for someone else's good luck and be happy you are still alive and have people who love and support you no matter how much you screw up and no matter where you are or what you did. Life is fragile, and you never know what is going to happen next. Be thankful for those who mean the world to you and make sure they know it!

LIVE ~ LAUGH ~ LOVE

99th published post!

After considerations, I never posted 100 posts, this is number 99.
Other than that the title is irrelevant, because I feel like ranting a bit.


What do you wish you could change about your significant other? Do not tell me nothing. We all love the "you are perfect just the way you are" quotes, but let's be truthful that is a load of poop. We all could use some improvement and we all should be striving to better ourselves. That should be our goal. So, we might not all openly complain about our significants to strangers but the truth of the matter is we are all annoyed with them at some point. I am 100% positive, mine also has some complaints regarding me; however, I am pretty sure he won't tell me them.

It comes down to, as much as I accept these parts, they still annoy me, and some days they truly tick me off. They do not seem to be worth breaking up over, but they are something that occasionally comes between us.

Occasionally, I want to be the center of the universe and want everything to be about me as well. Most days that I really could use a taste of that, it doesn't happen. This doesn't in my opinion make me pompus or conceited, this just makes me human and some days I am like the annoying little puppy that keeps chewing on your favorite shoe, I need attention.

100 posts! Almost!

When I posted the post about poems my blogger told me that was my 100th post! But then I realized only 85 of them were posted, so, I had to go publish some older posts so that they were public, things seem less personal when you wait a few months! So, there's new posts throughout my blog, I doubt your bored enough to look for them, but the flood on today is not really all from today!

I have been busy as heck lately. Life has been a bit less than kind! But recently I have helped make maple syrup, spent a lot of time with family members I usually stay away from and tried to keep my head above the water, which some days is not as simple as it should be! School is keeping me running on empty add in everything else, I have no energy for anything!

Meanwhile, the boyfriend and I are well, other than I am pulling teeth to get him to... how to put nicely.. find some independence..? That is a battle and a half and will be saved for a post of it's own.

Questions...Thoughts, musing riddles

I have a lot of questions floating around in my head lately, I don't wish to share my thoughts on most, but I will share the questions.

Relationships both sexual and friendship kinds

Are some people incapable of commitments?
Can you ever go backwards with a relationship?
Does true forgiveness actually exist or do we just pretend it never happened?
Can you ever be just friends after you have done more than that?
Will things ever be normal?
Will they ever be the same?
Do people change, at all? A lot? A little? Or Only because of huge life changing events?
Are there unsaid feelings after this long?
Why can't he and I speak now?
Is it necessary to stalk someone you "love"?
Is it ever okay to stalk someone?
Is it okay to check up on an old friend without them knowing?
Is it okay to check up on your ex?
Friendship is a two ended sword, one side wont stay sharp when the other is dull.
It isn't that I don't like you, I just hate everyone.

 Life and its issues

Does everyone worry this much?
Will I make it through this week without crying?
Why can I never get enough sleep?
Is it better to know before or after?
Can you really change the future?
How about the past?
Do things return to normal?
I am not smart, I am just easily intrigued.
Hibernation - I want to crawl in a hole and sleep for the whole summer to avoid all the drama, sure I'll miss good things but missing the bad would just make it worth it.

We are perfect

We have the most honest, most open relationship I have ever seen in my life. We hold nothing back, we hold no secrets and even though we do quarrel with one another, we work it out. Sometimes it seems like nothing works out in our favor, and this last week that has definitely held to be true. We still have each other, and as long as we are open and honest with one another we will continue to have each other. I love you baby, and I miss having a chance to talk to you, I feel like it has been ages, and in a way a week seems like a year because I have not talked to you. I have gotten word from you via your mom, but it seems so surreal. I don't know, but I miss being able to talk to you baby. I am sorry we fought all weekend, I do love you, and I am sorry we have our fights. We have an amazing relationship, and I truly want it to work. Don't give up on me baby, and don't give up on yourself. At the end of the day please remember that you are amazing and I love you, I am here for you no matter what. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

People Don't Think

People don't think, and you can't fix stupid.

Happy Halloween everyone. I am tired of hearing this week about how people constantly land themselves in bad situations. Bad situations find us all, life is far from perfect, people change and sometimes we all need to be a friend or be there for one who's having a rough time. However, if you don't want to so something because it is going to lead to something you regret or something that is going to hurt with

That's not how I was raised.

I am tired of girls acting like it is essential to have a guy in their life. A guy is an added bonus to life, one that can cause you a lot of grief or make it absolutely amazing; however, before I run off and have kids and get married I want to feel I accomplished something myself.

My version of Crazy Girl by Eli Young Band

Sometimes we argue sometimes we fight,
sometimes I just want to be mad at you,
let me walk away, I'll come back baby,
I have no intentions of leaving,
I love you like crazy.

Three months ago, the night we started dating, oh how things havechanged.

Life is perfect life's a mess. (don't worry 'bout a thing). My life feels perfect sometimes, other times I realize my mistake can ruin my plans. His mistake is ruining his life. And yet with him it doesn't seem to matter, I look forward to seeing him, and making him smile. He never smiles, yet when he's with me or talking to me I don't think he knows how to stop smiling. I feel as though this song or at least this verse describes me, well us, perfectly right now.
I asked him how work was and he told me it was pretty good, but then he realized that it just meant he was one day closer to court. He gave me a line the other day "take it one day at a time" it's working great for this us thing, I think he should apply it to that too. It's a giant storm cloud hanging over his head and he can't seem to escape. He's so worried what's going to happen he's hating every day. I know I've made his life a bit enjoyable this last week, and I want him to think about that instead for now. Don't get me wrong I'm afraid to death he's going to end up in jail too. He asked me last night if I'd be here for him if he ended up in jail, and I told him I would but I don't know to what extent. I will be here for him, but I don't know if I will be dating him if he's in jail, not because any reason other than it scares the shit out of me. I'm afraid.
I wanna take a back road home I wanna take the long way home, so I can enjoy your company just a little bit longer, maybe we can find someplace to park so we can sit and talk with no interruptions and stare up at the stars in the sky.

I don't know how we got here baby, we are moving way too fast, yet don't make it stop baby. I'm enjoying this way too much. Life is funny life's a mess, everything seems so crazy and yet it is so perfect.

If I were in a horrible accident and both of my arms were cut off, would you pick my nose?

Room to talk.

So, it just now occurred to me that the people who are giving me the most crap about choices I have made in my life have no room to talk.

Mega rant of the day...

Odds are this might tick you off.
If you are complaining about your boyfriend/fiancée/husband 24/7, leave.
If you are complaining about your kids 24/7, stop having kids.
If you cannot figure out how to stop having kids, stop having sex, you are not mature enough to raise them.

What is love to me?

We can all go about defining love, we will never agree.

I love that he tells me I am beautiful, all the time, no make up, wearing old clothes, covered in dirt after working, and feeling like crap he always reminds me I am beautiful.
He reminds me I am the 'most beautiful thing that has ever happened to him.' It reminds me how much I mean to him, and how he doesn't want to lose me.
The moment I enter the room, there is a smile plastered on his face and his eyes are only on me. That smile never stops when we are around one another.
He doesn't get annoyed when I am upset or annoyed over something stupid. He tells me I am cute when I am mad (which annoys me more...).
He listens to me complain about things, even if he doesn't agree. He usually takes my criticisms to heart too.
We are always honest, even if we don't want to be, or we try to delay telling one another, there are no secrets.

Poems, constructed this week, for class and a reject.

Five Senses

Summer

Smells like fresh cut grass.

Feels like a raspy bale of hay.

Looks like an inviting pool.

Sounds like fireworks.

Tastes like ice cream.

If I were…

If I were a frog,

I would spend all day in the water.

I would fall asleep on a lily pad.

I would play leapfrog with a friend.

When I tired, I would lay in the sun.

___ is…

Happiness is accepting the past.

Happiness is looking forward to tomorrow.

Happiness is smiling when you want to cry.

Happiness is seeing the good side in people.

Happiness is what allows you to get through the bad.

Haiku

The wind softly blows,

Through the leaves on the tree tops,

As the birds scatter.

Limerick

No one is really sure who,

But, the monster popped out and said “Boo!”

He came out of nowhere!

It was quite a scare!

Then the monster screamed “I want to play with you!”

Color

Red is radiant.

Orange is original.

Yellow is yesterday.

Green is great!

Blue is beautiful.

Indigo is interesting.

Violet is valuable.

Cinquain

Candy

Sweet and sour,

As I eat it I smile.

It tastes so good as I swallow,

Gummies.

I used to…/ But then…

I used to see the glass half empty,

but now I see it half full.

I used to get mad at everything,

but now, I let it go.

I used to want perfection,

but now I am happy with good enough.

Diamante

Outside

fun, bright

changing, exciting, playing

sun, bikes, crayons, rules

boring, constricting, reading,

same, lazy

Inside

 

Love is not knowing the future,

but staying anyways.

Love is supporting each other,

but disagreeing sometimes.

Love is not perfect, nor easy;

but it is through thick and thin. 

 (this one got left out of my ones for class.)

Advice

You never will know until you try.
You will never succeed if you never try.
You will never learn to walk without first learning to fall.

I don't have to like the things you do, to support you. I don't have to agree with everything you say to listen. I don't have to believe in your dreams to help you accomplish them. I just have to love you and help you realize how amazing you truly are.

Time is the truest test of love.

We can overcome anything life throws at us, after all we have made it this far!