Plans of our own

I feel like everyone around us has already started their lives. Everyone around me seems to have a ring on their finger, or a baby on their hip. None of them seem to have both, which says something about society. I really really would like to be married before I have a child. I don't know if I am quite ready for that, but I don't want to push it off for too long so that I can enjoy and watch the child grow up and be able to meet my grandchildren if they decide to have their own.

I am the first in my family to go to college, I will be the first to have a stable career instead of a million horrible jobs making minimum wage. I will make something of myself. I will not become rich, nor famous, I don't want to be, in the future though if I do have children I want them to feel free to do whatever they would like to in life.
I grew up in a household with very little extra money, we always ate, but not much was ever guaranteed. Once a month the phone would get shut off because the bill didn't get paid, or we couldn't go on the trips at school because we couldn't afford it.I skipped out on going on my senior trip in high school because we didn't have the money, I refused to ask at some point to join sports or activities at school because we couldn't afford the fees that were required to do so. When I did end up joining band-front, I missed practice on a regular basis because I did not have a ride home because my parents were working, or because we just did not have a stable vehicle.  When it came time to apply to colleges, I only applied to those who gave me fee waivers or the schools had free applications. I never visited the school I ended up going to until after I had been accepted and decided that was where I was going. In high-school I was often babysitting for my sister or other family friends. My parents hesitated doing so, but borrowed money off us kids to pay the bills. I do not hate my parents, they did the best they could do. I am glad to be the person I am today. I do not know if I would be the person I am without the struggles and hurdles. However; I do not want my kids to have to face similar battles.

We discussed in class one day how if you come from a poor background your going to remain in one. Well it is true and miracles do happen, but the truth really is that it is hard to move from class to class. If you are raised in a low income environment you struggle all the time to improve yourself. If it were not for my very very determined parents who work their asses off to make sure my tuition gets paid, and really did push the idea as kids that we could be who ever we wanted to be, I would not be where I am today. In reality, I never stood a chance of being a doctor for starts it isn't something I was ever passionate about, but I was never provided the opportunities in school or at home to excel in the subjects required for that. If that was my goal, I would still need to struggle through 8 years of education, which I would not be able to get loans for because I do not qualify for them now. My parents would not be able to afford paying for it out of pocket either. Maybe as a result of social class and situations I never really thought about wanting to do that, I just wanted to be what I knew, I have no idea, but I have always wanted to teach. I am passionate about it.

"You can be whoever you want to be" is a lie, but with love and support and a heck of a lot of determination, you can become something better.

I do not hate my parents, I love them, they have pushed me my whole life. And as a result I am almost where I want to be. They have done the best they knew how, and they did a pretty good job apparently, because I turned out just fine.