Lately I have been so determined to "stay strong" and keep everyone strong, as a result I have stayed in that mindset myself really well actually. Somehow at the beginning of this last week I faltered a bit, it is the holidays, reality is scaring me a bit and somehow I lost some faith in the world and things working out. I know things could go one of a million ways, and the uncertainty is scaring me to death. I don't know what to expect but I do know that I am just hoping and somewhat praying (and I am not really all that religious) for things to work out as planned.
My negative bad mood rubbed off a bit this week because it came out in a love letter, which probably seemed more like a rant with I love you and I miss you scribbled at the end in the margin. I sometimes have my bad days too, thankfully for everyone, they are few and far between. I keep a lot of people going, and I don't break down that easy, I haven't cried over this mess yet, and the only day I was awfully close was the day of court. I can't promise you forever at this point. the next three weeks is intimidating enough. I know this is mutual but I really cannot wait until this whole part of our lives is behind us, because as frustrating as it is, even if I wanted to run - I am too attached to do so.
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