Sometimes you need something to look forward to

Sometimes we are all in a rough spot, we all countdown to something whether it be the end of the semester, the day you should be done with something, or even the day somethings due so it is out of your way. Countdowns help us manage our lives in smaller portions instead of looking at things as a whole picture, breaking it into pieces is sometimes easier. But in the grand scheme of things a year is pretty irrelevant. If you live to be 80, how important is a month in the big picture? We count down to make things more manageable, more easy to work through one day at a time, because when we don't know the outcome of something we do just that we take it one day at a time.

Life is complicated, parts of it are a mess, and we can't avoid it no matter how hard we try, we fall in love, we get our hearts break, we grow apart in all hopes to find people who we can depend on "forever." I am lucky to have a few people in my life who have known me for 7 or 8 years who mean the world to me, who keep me going when everyone else fails me. I also have my family who means the world to me and can usually help me through anything, I can talk to my parents about just about anything, and if necessary I can make it sound like it isn't about me.

A part of being a friend is being there when the other person needs you, at this point in my life, if you only want to be there when we are having a good time, I don't care to be friends to start, I can have fun with plenty of people. I also am getting to the point if you can't be there when I need you, I don't care to have you in my life. I know for a fact I am there for my friends when they need me, I try my hardest to be a good friend, sometimes I have so much going on in my own life I don't do an excellent job, but I sure try. I don't make judgments towards things I do not understand, and if you call me crying, I will listen, even if I told you it was stupid before you did it. As a friend I would expect you to return the favor, or next time you call crying I may not be as helpful. I am very proud of my friends, I would go to the end of the earth and back for any one of them.

Sometimes, the one thing you are looking forward to is all that is keeping you going at the end of the day. As I said I would go to the end of the earth for any one of my true friends. Right now I know for a fact I am the only thing keeping someone very important to me going and it is frustrating, empowering, and it makes me feel amazing. I am so frustrated because I have no idea how to help, and no one else seems to be doing it, even though they are indeed trying. I wish I had some help being motivating and encouraging, because I have a lot of other things happening in my life as well. At the same time having the ability to make or break someone is empowering, sometimes to the point it isn't good. I don't want to control this relationship, but I already do, at this point he certainly needs me more than I need him, and in a way that makes me feel pretty special. I am glad I am the one he wants and the one who can help him through this dark spot in his life. In another way, it scares me to death.