I love you

You make me feel amazing,
you make me feel beautiful,
you make me feel perfect.

Some days I fear I will disappoint you,
Yet I never seem to do so,
you always make me feel irreplaceable.

Right now, this seems difficult,
Yet I wake up thinking about you,
and a smile creeps across my face.

I roll out of bed and get dressed,
I smile when I look in the mirror,
I know you'd say I look beautiful.

I go on with my daily life,
thinking about you,
and missing you.

Before I go to bed, I scribble you a letter,
and make sure to reassure you,
that I am all yours baby.

I whisper goodnight to you,
and tell you that I love you,
I know you feel it.

We will get through this my love,
we have gotten through so much already,
we are perfect for one another.

I hope I do the same for you,
we both know we live separate lives,
somehow when they mesh together we have perfection.

I love being wrapped in your arms,
when nothing is off limits,
and we can be totally honest and ourselves.

You amaze me sweetie. I love you more than I ever thought was possible.

Sometimes you need something to look forward to

Sometimes we are all in a rough spot, we all countdown to something whether it be the end of the semester, the day you should be done with something, or even the day somethings due so it is out of your way. Countdowns help us manage our lives in smaller portions instead of looking at things as a whole picture, breaking it into pieces is sometimes easier. But in the grand scheme of things a year is pretty irrelevant. If you live to be 80, how important is a month in the big picture? We count down to make things more manageable, more easy to work through one day at a time, because when we don't know the outcome of something we do just that we take it one day at a time.

Life is complicated, parts of it are a mess, and we can't avoid it no matter how hard we try, we fall in love, we get our hearts break, we grow apart in all hopes to find people who we can depend on "forever." I am lucky to have a few people in my life who have known me for 7 or 8 years who mean the world to me, who keep me going when everyone else fails me. I also have my family who means the world to me and can usually help me through anything, I can talk to my parents about just about anything, and if necessary I can make it sound like it isn't about me.

A part of being a friend is being there when the other person needs you, at this point in my life, if you only want to be there when we are having a good time, I don't care to be friends to start, I can have fun with plenty of people. I also am getting to the point if you can't be there when I need you, I don't care to have you in my life. I know for a fact I am there for my friends when they need me, I try my hardest to be a good friend, sometimes I have so much going on in my own life I don't do an excellent job, but I sure try. I don't make judgments towards things I do not understand, and if you call me crying, I will listen, even if I told you it was stupid before you did it. As a friend I would expect you to return the favor, or next time you call crying I may not be as helpful. I am very proud of my friends, I would go to the end of the earth and back for any one of them.

Sometimes, the one thing you are looking forward to is all that is keeping you going at the end of the day. As I said I would go to the end of the earth for any one of my true friends. Right now I know for a fact I am the only thing keeping someone very important to me going and it is frustrating, empowering, and it makes me feel amazing. I am so frustrated because I have no idea how to help, and no one else seems to be doing it, even though they are indeed trying. I wish I had some help being motivating and encouraging, because I have a lot of other things happening in my life as well. At the same time having the ability to make or break someone is empowering, sometimes to the point it isn't good. I don't want to control this relationship, but I already do, at this point he certainly needs me more than I need him, and in a way that makes me feel pretty special. I am glad I am the one he wants and the one who can help him through this dark spot in his life. In another way, it scares me to death.

Writing, and what becomes of it

It feels so strange to not be able to talk to you, I don't like it, but I will live.

It took a while for us to be friends,

It took months for you to break my heart,

It took years for us to grow apart,

A few weeks to reconnect,

It took only one night for us to fall in love. 

God has a plan for us all, some bad things need to happen to make us better people; we just need to embrace every day we are given and make the best of it.

And when I lay down at night, I wish it were you I was cuddling with, this monkey just doesn't cut it. 

Someday's it is hard to remember I am not alone in this world - then I get a simple message from you.

Our relationship came out of no where, but rest assured it also isn't going anywhere. 

Just me and you

Life is crazy, busy and wonderful. I am stressed to the max most days, and so happy others, some days I am so stressed I snap for stupid things I shouldn't worry about. Today is a huge deciding factor for the future of our relationship. I love him, and I can deal with this one day at a time. We can make it through anything because we are honest, truthful, and we make an amazing couple because of it. At the end of the night I love just being in his arms, life then seems perfect. Some days we have our arguments, and feel like strangling one another, this weekend he and I both seemed to be in crappy moods and we both seemed to snap on one another way too easily. We each have our own lives, and they don't always match up perfectly. We do not have the "perfect" relationship. However; we have one another, and at the end of the day, we try to make life more enjoyable. We aren't what people expect, we aren't hiding it, and we don't care what people think. We will get through whatever today brings for us, we will get through it together and that will make us stronger for it. Although I wanted to strangle him a few times this weekend, I truly feel we can have an argument without it destroying us, we both have our days where we end up on each others nerves so badly it's a losing battle. Hopefully soon, the phone will ring with good news.


So this is an edit : Today didn't go well, anyone feels like listening to me complain please talk to me, otherwise, don't bother.